The wound never healed.
I tried to fix it, when you left and broke me into pieces.
I collected myself and did my best to become whole again, as whole as I was when I met you and you hadn't left your mark.
I patched it with stolen kisses from another, arms wrapped around me til morning while you did the same.
I told myself
no more
and attempted to believe it
And then I saw you
and my work was undone.
Your eyes met mine and knew that you had me still.
And still I tried. I hoped to be busy, to not notice
your voice
your swagger
your look when you caught mine, and hoped that would be enough.
It wasn't enough.
Once more I am branded.
the bite mark, such sweet pain that reminds me
the pleasure of your company comes with a price, the hidden cost of missing you for far too long.
We keep it between us. No-one knows and everyone is aware. Our open secret amongst ourselves that I guard fiercely, as I do with every moment, every look, every word.
Once more it comes to an end. You will leave, we won't talk, and I will once more mourn the loss of someone still living.
I will hope for your return. I will want to be healed, to turn you away.
I won't.
You stay in my heart.
Etched forever.
One day, I won't feel like this. One day there will be another, more deserving, more available. One day there will be no need for secrets, no need for stolen passion and hidden words. One day that wound will be a scar, a memory, a fond reminder of your place in my life.
But not yet.
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